You are my Joy

Sing Sing Sing!
My heart is so glad!
I jumped for joy with the strength that I had!
A smile, a laugh, one silly thought,
I have to confess, in His joy I am caught!
He puts a song in my head and a verse in my heart,
I feel his love on this day, from the start!
No, I'm not happy, that word can't discover,
The joy I've tapped into, the joy I uncovered!
I sigh with delight, for Jesus walks by my side,
Rejoicing is contagious, I can't keep it inside!

mess up

if troubled was the word
i would be the personification.
if success was really a goal
why all this frustration?
and in the moment innocence fails
it shoots me in the back,
its like my lack of experience
has chosen me to attack.
competition never appreciates
all that has been done,
it just slips away
and with one shot is undone.

Sleep

Toss and turn, toss and turn
I do not know to where I turn.
I toss these ideas around inside
But all I do is sigh.

I sigh.
I cry.
I lie.
I try.

I do not know to where I turn.
So I toss.
I toss. I toss.

I lost.

For Bobbie- I love you

Void and vacant
Numb and lifeless
My gaze I cannot move.
No thoughts or feelings
Pass through my brain
Will all this improve?
All the sudden
Uncertainty comes knocking,
No, pounding on my door
And I dont want to know
What fate has in store.
Get me out so I can show
Some sort of emotion
Past all of my other cares
Past all the commotion.
I'm not sure, so please don't ask
I might not even tell
The only thing I know for sure,
It's not time for farewell.

a grow moment

You think I take advantage of you,
I think you take advantage of me,
So what is your definition of free?
Cause I'm living in mine if you can see.
I give, you take,
You give, I thank.
Did you know that there are two ways to communicate?
You bash it out and I receive,
Please just take a second to believe
That I do try to make to make you glad,
But good is overlooked, you see the bad.
I try to talk but you just say,
"Your defenses are up, don't treat me this way."
You blame my parents for how I am,
But that fades away when it's the door you slam.
You call me stupid, but between the lines
It's from all that anger that has been confined.
So thank you much for letting me stay
And forever now we must part ways,
It seems like growing up is what you need,
From all your bondage please be freed.

light of mine

on and off
flicker flicker
goes my light switch
quicker quicker
light in darkness
can you tell
it's in the corner
where it dwells

it stands there burning
brighter brighter
darkness leaves
it's lighter lighter
gather closer,
gentle blaze
seeing clearly
through this haze

never placing
under under
or the world will
wonder wonder
placing firmly
on a stand
wind protected
by his hand

For Sade

Travel, travel, far away land
Leap of faith, please hold my hand.
Reaching to accomplish this dream,
Going farther than it seems.
All my goals, why are u so far?
If you don't come soon, my heart will scar.
Leaving all of those I know,
But on this journey I must go.

hello?

affirmation,
can I not hear?
are u calling,
are you clear?
affirmation,
am I blind?
in my critique am I confined?
affirmation,
speak it strong,
because it's for you I secretly long,
affirmation,
please quicken the pace,
so I can look truth in the face.

Flee Flee Flee

Fight fight fight the flesh
Run Run Run away
Stop Stop Stop these lies
Spinning in circles, lost in cries.

Find Find Find a place
Sleep Sleep Sleep all day
Think Think Think I’m not
In this tangled web I’m caught

Break Break Break me down
Speak Speak Speak a word
Touch Touch Touch the truth
No more stress, I want my youth

Feel Feel Feel again
Love Love Love myself
Sing Sing Sing a song
Understand that I belong

Rain

I stare into a puddle and see my refection as I look down
Its emptiness inside, concealed with a frown.
Then raindrops splash right in and turn my reflection to the sky
A storm is beginning, and not just physically outside.
Calm and peaceful drop by drop, it's cleansing and it's cleaning
The lightning flashes, creates its light, for me, symbolically screaming.
Feeling a presence hover over me, more than the rolling thunder,
Vibrating my thoughts , it's sinking in, it begins to pull me under.
It rains, it pours, but yet I smile, not just my skin is saturated
Freedom comes amidst this storm, all fears evacuated.
This wind gives me strength as I spin in a circle, just like the leaves on the ground
In its whisper I find secrets as it sweeps past my ears, consuming me with its sweet sound.
Together with the clouds my worries begin to fade away
As the scenery from the beautiful sunset is put out on display.
The radiance so peaceful, as if the sky has been made new
The sun rays reach out to me and say "this is for you."
I know there is peace after my storm but this scene is so breath taking
As if it crawled into my being and inspired a new, a real, awakening.

There you go.

tear me down, rat me out, in support of my dreams you lack
turn around, change your dream to mine and hide it behind my back.
you leave, wiped from my memory, you disappear
I thought my goals were so sincere.
but quickly I find out that you dont think that same
"selfish thoughts derive these ambitions", you make me feel ashamed.
While all the time you knew that my aspirations had not altered.
standing strong all these years, my thoughts had never faltered.
but there you go, your secret life, starting to take flight
and those conversations we had, were you fake polite?
But did you tell me, no, you did not,
oh i burn because in turn you will get caught.
please just go, so your name I wont have to hear
take the pain and take your gain, have fun with your career.

Glass Heart

Peer through your heart's window
Please look deep inside
It's calling, it's begging
To be untied.

What it wants is overshadowed
By the brain's clear logic needs,
So it shrinks away,
Never to be freed.

And when we think its time
To share what makes our heart beat,
We turn and run the other way,
Scared of other's approval we will not meet.

But what is God is saying,
"Just be bold and go ahead,
You may not get another chance,
Face your fears, you have nothing to dread"

So do we run and take a leap,
And risk our acceptance?
We will just have to see
The next time we feel God's presence.
(inspired by 1 Corinthians 1:18-19 and 26-31)

Black and White

Because you
Loved me
And gave me life, you
Comfort me in times of strife, you show
Kindness to this wretched soul

Although this heart is BLACK as coal.
Now with freedom in the game, I
Don't doubt you'll call my name

Wanting something more for me,
How great you are to create my destiny.
I am so small, you have so much might,
The choice to live for you is as
Easy as BLACK AND WHITE.

Message in a Bottle

Not a whisper, but a rush,
My soul is forcefully and delicately touched
By the wind Your presence blows,
It calls and says "It's you I chose."

It reminds me that each grain of sand
Was placed there by His mighty hand,
That each wave that topples before my eyes
Is counted in the heavenly skies.

It teaches me to appreciate
The warmth of the sun and how it creates
A unique type of atmosphere
With strangers and friends that we hold dear.

It sweeps me up and lets me fly
Soaring with God and leaping I try
To grasp one glimpse of his amazing plan
Which all started with the death of one man.

It brings a sorrowful realization
That i am guilty of all my charged accusations,
Not worthy to be associated with Your family ties
Where the definition of togetherness was born to thrive.

But then I look at all Your creations
Placed specifically across different nations
And think it's an extraordinary way to grab our attention
And pull us back into Your perfect mission.

Teach me LORD and prepare Your way
As I go through living each special day,
With each breath I sigh I pray for Your presence,
I want to be the one who gives off Your essence.

No More Me

A sweeping rush of thoughts anew,
Ideas of seeing more of you.
Climb a tree or hike a mountain,
Receiving strength from your life fountain.
The end prize is all I see,
Running faster, set me free.

How bad do we want it is the question,
Let Your goals be our obsession.
Reaching higher, faster, stronger,
I don't want selfish ambitions any longer.

Jesus come and take my dreams,
Show us how to use them for thee.
I'll take a risk like the tax collector,
And let You be my life director.

Keep Thinking

Away 200 miles
I can hear you smile
Your thoughts carry thru the wind
Reach me, and pick me up again.

Keep thinking
Keep smiling
Cause without you it might take a while
To find myself again.

Your heart pounds a rhythmic beat
And finds my soul so incomplete
Pour and mold your whispers through me
Sweep me up and show me gently.

Keep thinking
Keep smiling
Cause without you it might take a while
To find myself again.

From start to end your presence grows,
Looking forward, it never slows.
Take me, break me, show me how,
Leave me with consuming sound.

Creation Part Three

In the expanse of a week
You created the heavens and the earth
Beautifully Composed creations
Reflect their designer and His worth

You set up the organization of nature
And all that it entails
So we can see your invisible qualities
And know that you prevail

So in return every knee will bow
To confess that you are King
And your eternal power is shown
Through the wonders of all things

With love you give us the delicate flowers
That thrive in the open fields
So that in response we may gaze upon you
And to your love we'll yield

Your imagination went into
Every human being that will ever walk this ground
You see what we do, know what we think,
And hear every little sound

You created us to worship you
And along the journey will find
That your love is so much greater
Because you are the glory divine

So thank you Lord for showing us love
Through the creation of all men
And thank you for loving us
When we're wrapped up in our sin

You are Holy Lord, the God of my being,
To righteousness may I endeavor
I, your creation, a member of your family,
Will praise you Lord forever

Creation Part Two

God swept up the dust and formed
the figure of a man
Exhaled the breath of life from within
And gave animation to this body of sand

You placed into the garden
This man that now has a soul
Where in this place, over all creatures,
Would have his own control.

But soon found out he felt incomplete
And needed a helper he could not find
So God put him into a deep sleep
To create what he had in mind

God removed a rib from man's body
And used it as a tool
To make Adam's other half,
So together they could rule.

Adam named her Woman
For she was created from His bone
Taken out of man, given to man
So he wont be alone.

Adam and Eve made home in Eden
Where they could eat from every tree
Except from the tree of knowledge of good and evil,
And if they did, they would no longer be free

They chose to eat the fruit anyway
And from the garden they were forbidden,
Their punishment was labor and pain
And from God they could not keep this hidden

Yet He chose to still give us life
Through his mercy and everlasting love
This design of the body so intricate and detailed
Could only be a gift of the One who is above

Creation Part One

Your spirit hovered over the void
Where your creation would soon reside
Now only formless surrounded in shadow
Your existence and reality collide

You speak illumination into the vast wonders
Light filling up the vacant space
Separation resulting in night and day
The first completion was now set into place

You spoke an expanse between all the waters
Creating the formation of the sky
And upward nature looks to admire your beauty
Where your love is an endless supply

The appearance of land and all vegetation
Apart from the newly formed sea
Suggests a designer with immense imagination
And aims at a higher deity

Decorations hanging on the walls of the galaxy
Shinning to help lead the way
The sun and the moon in different territories
To give the earth night and day

The waters teem with creatures of the sea
And birds soar majestically in the air
Increasing in number, according to their kinds
"It is good" God did declare

Livestock and all creatures that belong on the ground
Are set into their classifications
Then formation of man in your very own image
Truly your greatest creation

You take a step bake to admire your work
And conclude that it's time to rest
Now the 7th day, everything was so good
Through creation you surely will be blessed.